Narcissistic leaders
I just read an interesting article in the newspaper. It was about grandiose narcissistic leaders and how to deal with them. The article was primarily based on research done by Charles O'Reilly. According to him, narcissists can more quickly reach leading roles because they challenge the "status quo". On the outside, they also appear charming, which can blind the surroundings. But research has shown that leaders with high levels of narcissism - the so-called grandiose narcissist - work counterproductively.
“They offend people they work with, steal ideas and honor. They are also more willing to cheat, lie and play political games.”
Over the years, I have met several who could fall into the category of narcissistic leaders. Perhaps even some have had psychopathic sides, so I recognize much of what the article describes when exposed to a narcissistic leader. They can switch from being extremely friendly and supportive to being extremely aggressive, even threatening. The article also describes how many of these leaders make both long and extensive careers in different companies.
What I hung up on in the article may not be so much about these narcissists' descriptions. It was more how the article and Charles O'Reilly suggested dealing with these people. The article states that you should not challenge them, give them compliments constantly, always support them, and not get upset when they steal your ideas.
I have done that many times. As an empathetic individual, you notice pretty quickly what kind of people you are dealing with. And if you then have the ability to be adaptable, you can make it work. You know how to play the game, how to get the narcissist in a good mood. But in the end, you end up in situations where you start to violate too much of yourself—your values and maybe even core values. You get to a point where you need to put your foot down. It will not change the narcissist, and it will not create a better situation in the workplace or in the contexts you are in. But it will generate more respect for yourself! You have to be true to yourself and be able to see yourself in the mirror every day. You have to leave the violence of the narcissist!
My thoughts are supported by Petri Kajonius at Lund University, who in the same article says that you can not change a boss or colleague with narcissistic behavior. He says, among other things, that if your goal is to change this person, it is better to leave.
My experience has led me to never accept narcissistic behavior if you do not thrive in a situation where you are diminished and robbed of your ideas. I have learned that you have to leave quickly. It will not get better! A narcissist is a narcissist no matter what sheep's clothing he or she wears to work that Monday in May. The bomb can explode at any time! The narcissist's ugly face will show up again. You have to ask yourself how much violence against yourself you accept before you finally leave.
Reading tips
"The perks of narcissism: Behaving like a star speeds up career advancement to the CEO position" was published in The Leadership Quarterly in December 2020.
Charles O'Reilly's study "Why are grandiose narcissists more effective at organizational politics?", Was co-authored with Jeffrey Pfeffer and was also published in December last year.
Surrounded by Psychopaths: How to Protect Yourself from Being Manipulated and Exploited in Business (and in Life)
Thomas Erikson, 2017
